Courage to love again July 18, 2008

For some reasons…i am always looking forward to conversations with my aunt jasmine

those little car rides conversations that i share from church back home are always thought-provoking

she seem to have the ability to speak to my heart

even though i am 100% sure that she doesn’t know what is going on

i did not tell anyone these thoughts or emotions

probably except God

so if it is not God telling her, then who else could it be?

 it is pretty amazing how each of those words reflect my thoughts

it seems like as though she is God-sent to remind me of certain things!

or set certain things right!

do you call it prophecy?

 

tonight was one conversation which reminded me that we are all human beings

and we err…including me and you!

i guess i have been seeing things from the perspective that everyone ard me have been disappointing

but i really dunno and forgotten how many times i have disappointed others

it is time to ask God to heal those hurts and disappointment

the last words of our conversation ended with…

“You have to ask God to heal the hurts so that you will have the courage to love others again”

让爱在你我之间 June 12, 2008

爱好象一把火把   温暖我们心窝

它放出光和热       照亮每个角落

我用爱去生活       不再习惯沉默

冷漠的世界里       让关心变得更多

伤痕难以忘怀        人人都尝过

夜若带来寂寞

请你清清的听        听我的歌

 

孤单时可以找我    心事可对我说

不要一个人受苦   还有我倍你度过

伤心时可以找我    我愿意为你分担

让爱在你我之间     发出闪烁温暖的火

a song which i got introduced to during my church camp!

it never fails to bring tears to my eyes

not only does it speaks of God’s love…

i think it is so real even between the pple ard me…

reflect on the lyrics and think about it…

you will know what i mean

The most precious thing May 21, 2008

it has been donkey years since i last commited into some serious blogging

im back frm my Beijing trip

had lotsa fun and i wld say that it was one of the best trips tt i have been in years

not in terms of shppg but in terms of knowledge and appreciation of local culture

i am so proud to be Chinese!

so many things i have learned about my own traditions and culture

not smthg to be particularly proud of but rather to be ashamed of

i finally understood the essense of “中国人不会说中文真是羞耻“

jus a tot….understand where you come from

know your roots and 饮水思源

before you attempt to enrich yourself with ither languages or culture like Japanese, Korean, Malay, etc, etc

i have always been awed by how well a person can speak English and i secretly despise the chinese-educated

now i despise those who are ‘Chinese’ and yet dun speak a word of mandarin or even understand anything

hahaha…how amusing…6 days change my perspective

 

well i wld say that this trip has brought me lotsa new perspective towards life

esp when the day of my departure coincided with one of China’s history worst earthquake in the Sichuan province

it seriously got me thinking

it served as another wake up call for me

the end times is probably nearer

there is just this unspeakable grieve within me when i got news of the quake in China

i wonder how many lost souls again

every nite before i slp in the hotel

i wld lift these victims and their families up in prayer

i may not know them personally but i felt a need to pray for them

to intercede? i dunnoe

i prayed for God’s mercy to be upon them

His hands of protection to cover these pple

why did such a tragedy happen?

why didnt God stop it?

i understand it as a wake-up call

i see that there is really no time to waste

no more sitting back and relax

time to exercise God’s great commission to us…His Chosen Generation!

of coz it did help as i am at the Book of Job

it helped me to understand how in times of adversity

Job can still call upon God to be His strength

although many a times he screamed in pain for help but God ignored him

but Job died a happy man

WHY? you may ask

come ask me and i will tell you!

so i believe that every tragedy and disaster

moves pple’s heart to do greater work for God’s kingdom

 

what is the most precious thing in your life?

i used to ponder a lot and of coz i am still pondering

but much less…i believe that 亲情 beats it all

No one else can touch my heart like You do March 22, 2008

I shared a testimony during Youth@Prayer on Thursday

and I am refining it and will share it here with more of you…

I started my week having this rather weird feeling

waking up on Sunday Afternoon after a very good rest

i did not leave my house coz i planned to revise my school work and study

still that unexplanable feeling didn’t leave me for e entire day

i tried to brush it off by convincing myself that perhaps its the ‘hardworking’ syndrome

the ‘feeling good’ about ‘studying so hard’ kind of feeling i thought to myself

then came Monday mrng…i was high…spiritually high

i woke up earlier than usual

had this strong urge to pray the moment i woke up!

so i committed my day to the Lord and uttered a simple prayer of blessing for the pple ard me

got up from my bed and prepared for sch

that particular mon mrng i was learning to appreciate everything ard me

including the irritating statistics lecture tt makes me emo every mon!

i was not emo but rather glad that i was gg to sch *surprised*

i felt so spiritually blessed than i had to share these blessings with the girls

so i decided to send them a word of encouragement thru sms

my favourite Proverbs 3: 5-6

in turn i was rather encouraged by their replies!

thanks gals!

then came Tuesday

i felt super holy…esp Tues nite

had this conversation with xiaoshi about calling

and i kinda felt very different..there is just something

something which i still cannot explain

Wednesday was a day of anticipation for me…i am still asking God “WHAT IS IT?”

i went home and played the electone organ till 3am in the mrng

enjoying every moment of worshipping and praising God

i was physically drained but joyful in the spirit!

Thursday was next…

highlight was my mom asked to join me in church on Friday for Healing Service!

i was stunned, surprised and shocked…everything you can expect

she doesn’t attend church with me

but this time she is asking to join me…

i thought to myself…”Hmmmm…so this is it huh God? Mom is coming to church like finally!”

i was kinda glad…but in my mind i was thinking, “wah God…i tot you like to surprise me…nothing too big deal tt my mom is coming wat..but still im thanking you whatever the case!”

I was still ‘spiritually high’ and i dunno why

kinda expecting smthg bigger from God but half disappointed thinking that all tt was happening was tt mom was coming along to church

i wanted smthg more 

so Thursday came and go

FRIDAY!

YES FRIDAY….healing rally!

i woke up and committed my day to the Lord once again!

and in my mind…”Will mom really come? hmmm…better dun put so much hope into it first…later disappointed if she decides not to come at the last min!”

so i brushed off e whole idea and went out

until mom called me at 6pm and asked for directions to my church

i was still in a state of disbelief

i actually told God this in the mrng, “Well God if you are so real…den make my mom come”

still a little reluctant to acknowledge tt it was God’s doing…i continued with worship practice and waited for mom’s arrival

she came and service started

after worship was over…i didn’t sit with my mom but left my aunt with her instead

kinda tot tt e idea of mom in church is weird

i mean after all these years, my parents do not attend church service with me

so i ended up sitting with xiaoshi

drinking bubble tea and eating sweets

in the midst of the service during the sermon

i talked to God again

“God…to confirm tt it is you and your will…later during altar call…you make my mom respond to you alrite…”

only then i will be convinced

and once again…our almighty God is ever forgiving and merciful despite our doubts and faithlessness

my mom responded to altarcall…

i was stunned

i didn’t quite believe my eyes

went out to pray for her…

and i cannot stop my tears frm flowing

they were tears of thanksgiving

tears of joy

tears of respect for my God

it was today that i finally understood the essence of “There is nothing your God cannot do”

Today marks the day my mom accepts Christ as her personal saviour

a Good Friday indeed

Thank you God…thank you for answering my prayers

we have my daddy to work on now

give us the strength and courage to bring him to know you

i believe there is nothing impossible

i hope that in time to come…i can re-read this post with a smile on my face

reminiscing the way You touch my heart

because simply There is none like You!

Amen

boy i feel rich! February 7, 2008

GONG HEI FATT CHOY everyone!

Here comes the favourite festival of mine…

CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

this few days of joyous celebration never fails to cheer me up

it feels great to be around my family

eating, gambling, catching up with one another

and the best part of it all i get to feel RICH!

ang pow collection for day one seem to reflect that everyone’s bonuses have been big

i have broke a new record for day one collection with the starting number of 3…

big WAHAHAHAHA!

with the impending vistations in e upcoming 2 weeks

i guess at 500 should not be a problem!

happie happie!

pure bliss…good food, good company, good money!

if only CNY is celebrated monthly…wahahahaha!

im looking forward to day 2 already

for those of you who dislike CNY

why do you even dislike CNY…oh gosh

i just find so many reasons to be in love with it!

perhaps you need a little love…come join me and my family

and we will spread the love with a little money to go along!

but first of all…you need to pass my ‘test’ to come along too!

come and ask me if you are interested…wahahhaaha!