sometimes it is the little things in life that makes a big difference
Thank you PD for your small little gesture of a big hug….it made me realize how real Yahweh really is…
Just when I tot all is lost…God you made and will continue to make a big difference…
Hang on there Racheal….dun give up…just grow up!
i dun think we talked much when we were younger
but we kinda smiled at each other every now and then
i guess i knew your existence…i am not sure if you knew mine
but its ok…life goes on
then again i never expected our paths to cross again in such a perculiar manner
whatever it is…even as we didnt interact as much
i still do regard you as a fren…one whom i have lost contact with then…and till we meet again in heaven
you will be missed…by e pple you loved and loved you
i only could help you by giving you what i could have possibly done so
i hope that that blood of life which sustained your life for a day more have made a difference
i thank God for the opportunity to let me serve you just before you returned home to heaven
my dear sister-in-christ..your life is a testimony which taught me one of life’s greatest lessons
cherish your loved ones…and true enough…
…love wins…love always wins…
May the peace and love of Yahweh be with you always Anna…
FAREWELL MY FRIEND
This is kind of a sad song
Read between the lines
‘..it’s not so bad..you’re only the best I ever had..’
oh my..emo la..but its called emo-therapy!
i kinda feel that nostalgia recharges me faster than anything else these days
are these signs of ‘growing up’? or rather growing old…duh!
wells whatever..what’s more impt than
THIS!!!
resolution of 2009: to grow spiritually stronger and bolder (amen!)
but still…here’s the song for you folks..
The Best I Ever Had
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing’s quite the same now
I just say your name now
[Chorus]
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had
So you stole my world
Now I’m just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
[Chorus]
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t need me back
You’re just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can’t take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You’re always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I’m haunted
[Chorus]
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
I don’t want you back
You’re just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever
I went down for Chrystal’s grandma’s wake this afternoon
it was really difficult for me to find time as my weekly schedule is packed with school, work, and my social commitments
but i guess i had to prioritize and send my regards by my presence for the family..as my way of showing support as well as concern
the afternoon was really quiet but i had a good chat with auntie emily
could see that uncle doug was really drained and perhaps suppressing his emotions
but i guess as the head of e hsehold, he had to reflect in his behaviour the strength tt would sustain the family in times like this…
my short conversation with auntie emily was really simple and nice
she shared with me the times when uncle doug used to take care of her dad when he was living his last days in this world
how uncle doug would make an effort to carry her dad down flights of stairs to take a stroll around the neighbourhood
how he would make an effort to send her dad to church on weekly routine without fail
not a word of complain but rather satisfaction and accomplishment on how he could be of service to his father-in-law in every way
he won her father’s acceptance eventually through his sincerity
these are just very simple acts translated into a very beautiful story of love
love is a choice and not a feeling…
it is a choice that one make a commitment that takes a lifetime to fulfil
i believe that it must have taken so much of uncle doug to do these acts of service but i know that it was out of love for his wife and her family that he did it willingly with so much joy
it was a living testimony for all to witness
and it is precisely because of these people that i still hold on to e belief that true love exist
at least i know and witness it
and perhaps one day i would love to experience it for myself
a man of God..is all i seek
one who truly loves and fears God
one who can strengthen and encourage me in my spirtual walk with God
i believe that all e other factors will naturally come into place with that first condition fulfilled!
Amen!
For some reasons…i am always looking forward to conversations with my aunt jasmine
those little car rides conversations that i share from church back home are always thought-provoking
she seem to have the ability to speak to my heart
even though i am 100% sure that she doesn’t know what is going on
i did not tell anyone these thoughts or emotions
probably except God
so if it is not God telling her, then who else could it be?
it is pretty amazing how each of those words reflect my thoughts
it seems like as though she is God-sent to remind me of certain things!
or set certain things right!
do you call it prophecy?
tonight was one conversation which reminded me that we are all human beings
and we err…including me and you!
i guess i have been seeing things from the perspective that everyone ard me have been disappointing
but i really dunno and forgotten how many times i have disappointed others
it is time to ask God to heal those hurts and disappointment
the last words of our conversation ended with…
“You have to ask God to heal the hurts so that you will have the courage to love others again”
In Tony’s words, “Aiyo..做朋友到这样 stress!!!”
yes indeed…i really cannot find a better phrase to describe that sentiment im feeling
ps lucy said it was an “anger of righteousness”
yes another spot on!
i was so disappointed and angry and most importantly HURT!
i simply see this whole saga as UNNECESSARY
why did it happened then?
because we have all forgotten to speak with love and embrace the problem with a spirit of humility
in our pursue of bringing our own point across to the pple ard us
we got so caught in trying to prove our point that we forgotten how much these unkind words can hurt the soul and spirit
i am very disappointed because my expectations of my dear ones were kind of shattered
it takes time to rebuild that confidence and trust
i question God on why did He allow for this to happen
so much for knowing the answer
“what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
“its a process of moulding you for greater challenges”
ok fine…whatever
seriously whatever….
i was so fed up…that perhaps i even got fed up with myself and God
even tho i didnt have an active part to play in this whole series of events
i had to feel so guilty
for God knows what reasons!
even tho everyone including i myself know that 真的不关我的事
it is just a very inevitable feeling
i am just a sentimental and emotional crap!
i get super affected if e people i love gets affected
and it really pains me to see that they are hurting one another
intentional or not
that is not the point
the point is once you inflict these hurts
it is difficult to reconcile
well in God’s love there is nothing impossible though
but before we talk about God’s love
cummon pple…where is the love?
WAKE UP YOUR IDEAS ok!
i dun wanna scold or anything
but please for goodness sake…
you think i so free to scold or comment is it?!?!
it is because i care and i love you all
at least for God’s sake or my sake…
can we THINK first before we act in future?
dun say…”No what…i didnt do that thing in a rash moment..i really tot about it”
how about think thru how a thing that you intend to do will affect the pple at e receiving end and ultimately involved
there is where humility comes in
think about how the other party will feel and why do they behave in a certain manner
i am human too
i err at times
but if we all would only take a step back in our moment of frustration and anger
it will make the world a better place
at least the world that im sharing with you all
P.S.: You all know who you all are
if God comes right now and proclaim its D-day
my answer would be, “I am not ready God”
if i cld ask of smthg from God
I would say, “hey God stop there..there are still so many things i havent done and want to do”
“dun come so fast!”
these are my exact sentiments
why am i being so frank here?
it is because i really feel so burdened these whole week
i dunno over what
i just feel kinda down whatever im alone thinking to myself
“what am i exactly called for?”
one of my greatest struggle in life is about putting other things i treasure so much aside..just for my God
some of my non-believers frens do not understand the sort of struggles i go thru
they would simply comment, “if your God is so great, why is there a need to sacrifice so much for Him..He should be protecting and blessing you!”
“isn’t God suppose to help His people be happy?”
yes indeed our God would love to see His children happy
but the impt point here is that God is not santa claus
He doesnt give you everything you ask for
in that case why dun you be God instead and den the higher being up there shall be your fairy godfather!
im sounding sarcastic over here because i am pretty sick of always having to defend my God and my beliefs
basically you can say i that i 自讨苦吃
be Christian so troublesome…must sacrifice these and that
but i guess its all about loving God and obeying His commands!
the problem i have nowadays is that i know what is right or wrong
i can discern
but i fail to act many times
i do not practice what i preach
and i really hate myself for doing that!
its so sickening!
i so much need to learn how to humble myself to serve selflessly
but i am unable to take my eyes off the world
serve God or serve the world
i can only choose 1
why is the obvious so difficult to be chosen?
i am really struggling
it just seems like im still clutching onto some things
and my arms are too full to embrace the present and God’s love
can someone enlighten me?
or isit one of those case where i have find my way out of this mess?!?
